It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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