Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
