It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
