bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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