i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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