Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Randomize
