dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
