the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
