butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
