I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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