Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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