I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
