i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
