He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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