I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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