While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
