i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
