i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
