yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
