Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
