News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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