So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
