I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
