I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He did a backflip because drugs
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
