when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
