Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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