While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Its about making memories worth repressing
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
