youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Randomize
