i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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