i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
