yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
