Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
