"it" just moved
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
