We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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