Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
