just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
