U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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