What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Let's get the cat blown out
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
