This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
