I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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