so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
