Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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