doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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