I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
