hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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