I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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