I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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