is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
