so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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