Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
