Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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