I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
