I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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