can u get pink eye on your cock?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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